Setting Boundaries

Do you have a hard time saying No? Do you often feel that people take advantage of your good nature? Do interruptions cause you to miss out on important family/friends time? You aren’t alone. Unfortunately our society teaches us to be people pleasers but doesn’t often give us the necessary lessons in boundary setting to balance out our life.

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In Real Estate, when most of us are working as independent contractors, or business owners it is essential to our business (and sanity) to be able to comfortably set boundaries. To be able to say I don’t have the time, or I have a previous appointment, or I take Thursdays off — with out feeling guilty or switching personal plans to accommodate a potential client while alienating your family because you keep canceling on them.

Setting boundaries without guilt, will not always be easy. It takes a determined individual to keep up with their boundaries and to know when they might need to be adjusted. Here are some tips to help:

Set aside at least one day a week ( a day and a half or two days is even better) as a day off. You don’t work that day. Up date your voicemail to say that “I will be returning calls between ___________ (times) on ______day, If this is urgent please contact ____________ (some one you can count on to handle your business while you’re out of the office)” When you meet a new client always advise them that you take _______day off. If it isn’t a surprise, it isn’t usually a big deal, after all most people have a day off every week.
Set time frames to answer emails, return phone calls, and make client calls. Stick to these time frames. If your clients know that you will be calling between 3 and 4 – and you do call them back then – there will be less stress, clients won’t feel abandoned, and won’t continually phone leaving message after message.
Turn your phone off every evening. This is one of the hardest tasks for real estate agents (being out of contact stinks), but you will grow to appreciate it when you have a bit of time to relax and recharge in the evenings with out the constant distraction of a ringing phone.
Your appointments with your family/friends are just as important and just as devastating if missed as your client appointments. If Tommy or Suzy have a school play – mark it in your date book (translate to I-phone, Blackberry, PDA or digital calendar). Remember, if you miss a client appointment it could loose you business, but missing too many family appointments could easily ruin your life.
Don’t volunteer or agree to do something that you don’t really want to do. Just say No. When you agree to do something or volunteer to participate in something that you don’t want to do or don’t have enough time to do – IT SHOWS – people see your lack of enthusiasm, or your disdain at the task and even if they don’t say anything, they know your heart isn’t in the task. That isn’t how you want to be remembered. When you volunteer – Give it your all, enjoy the task, and appreciate the opportunity, it will show you in a positive light.

Look for more tips on boundaries, coming soon!